And really, I wasn't all that surprised.
She's a great girl (AMT, thanks for the memories), but it was truly time to move on for the both of us. I knew it. She knew it. I wondered who was going to pull the trigger first (and it wasn't going to be me).
I often found myself wondering (when I was single, of course) what it would feel like to get dumped. Loneliness? Despair? Crying all the way home after buying her a hot cup of pecan flavored steamed milk? Not at all. Although I am pretty upset about the whole situation, I really thought it would be much worse. I went through some major "Colby, its time to grow up and be an adult now" time while we were dating, and for that, I thank her. Someone needed to do it. But in all reality, our lives were headed in two opposite directions:
Was she hearing wedding bells? Probably.
Was I? Probably not.
She could have continued with our relationship, floating along, pretending like everything is A-OKAY and that one day we would move to the sticks and build a small log cabin and have camp fires and sing camp fire songs while our pack of wild labradoodles ran wildly in the snow. But she didn't. She took a chance, pulled the trigger and said, "Colby. We need to talk".
Five. Simple. Words. I knew what was coming, and there wasn't a thing I could do about it. Being the gentlemen I am I offered to take her to the local coffee shop. Bad idea - I'm sure that barista lady sure loved listening to us have a "come to jesus" talk. Stupid pecan flavored steamed milk.
Anyways, my point is this: If she hadn't taken the chance and told me her true feelings, we would be together today. We would probably still be together months down the road!
I would not have gone out of my way to end the relationship even though I knew we both needed to split and go our separate ways. She taught me something in ten minutes that most people will never understand.
TC Luoma explains this lesson best:
"It's sometimes a lot easier to accept things the way they are, to sit back and complain bitterly to anyone who'll listen, but that's the big difference between people who are happy and people who are miserable. I think these people don't realize that it really doesn't take all that much courage to change your life.
I don't care if we're talking about working out religiously, changing jobs, getting out of a bad relationship, or moving to a different town. Believe me, you can't lose. Whatever you do, provided that you stay focused, works out. The only people who lose are the ones who cash in their chips and refuse to play another hand. It's like the Chinese allegory of the man caught in the rapids. He's managed to grab hold of a rock, but the raging waters are beating him against the rock over and over again. If he doesn't let go, he'll soon die, but he's afraid to let go because he doesn't know what dangers lie downstream.
Let go of the rock."
And to AMT, for taking the opportunity to tell me just how ridiculous my dreams are: thank you. You've motivated me more than anyone.
Let Go Of The Rock
